Making my children proud...

They say that writers should always sleep with a pen and pad on their nightstand... Oh my... if I could just remember to put a pen and pad on my nighstand, I would have already written 10 books, and they would be SO BRILLIANT!!! I come up with the best ideas while trying to go to sleep. The voices in my head come up with great stuff, but I'm too lazy to get up and write them down. I try memorizing them, but then in the morning... like right now... I forget everything... So today, since I'm procrastinating from organizing my girls' rooms, I decided to seat back and TRY to remember what I wanted to say today... Today I want to talk about making my children proud...It's funny how everybody always talks about making our parents proud, and we put so much pressure on ourselves to do that. And OUR children work so hard to make US proud! Whether we want to make our parents proud by getting good grades, or being involved in the community, or getting a great job, make a lot of money, or be rich and famous.... whatever it is we do, we are always trying to make our parents proud... But what about wanting to make our CHILDREN proud?? This concept is new to me. I hadn't really thought of that until very recently when my life turned around completely with the beginning of "empty nesting". I woke up one day and my four baby girls were big!! HOW!!!?? WHEN DID THEY GROW UP!??? My oldest in a matter of 2 months graduated from college, got an amazing job in a very renowned banking institution, and moved out of the house into a beautiful apartment. My second baby is off to college five hours away from me, doing wonderful! And my twin girls graduated from high school, began college and are now in the process of finding themselves and rearranging their sisters' bedrooms.... which makes me a little sad because I really wanted the two oldest to be able to come home and have their own room. But I understand the twins need their space. Still.... these changes make me a little melancholic because it marks the end of an era. But going back to making my children proud. Now that I see that they are young adults, they have their own views of life, and I wonder what they think of me? In paper I think I'm pretty good... I have my own translation company and I work from home. I wrote a book "Surviving Motherhood" which is sold in all major websites and from which I receive a WHOLE $1.99 a year in royalties, I've written several articles for different magazines, newspapers and websites, I think I'm a pretty good mom, I've raised my girls to be AMAZING young adults, even their friends love me and come visit and ask for my advice on things... that's pretty good... right? Yeah, I guess... but then there are always a handfull of people in a person's life who will always somehow find a way of making you feel less about yourself. I try to keep those people outside my bubble... but sometimes they make their way inside it and poke a hole in it trying to deflate it... So then one day I wondered... are my children proud of ME??? I'm not even going to ask them because they are going to say "YES, OF COURSE!" Bless them, they do love me! But I decided a few weeks ago, that I'm going to find things to do to make my children proud of me. I still don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm here now... brainstorming while I write this blog.... I'll figure something out. In any case, I'm starting today. Since I completely lost my job as a chauffer when the twins got their drivers license, I have more time on my hands to think about what I'm going to do! For now, I'll start blogging. This concept is new to me, but right now it feels pretty good to be able to write to somebody out there who will hopefully, someday, read my thoughts and give me ideas of things I can do to make my babies proud. I love you girls! And I AM EXTREMELY PROUD OF YOU!! Bye bye now! Actually.... I feel pretty good right now! I like blogging!