Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Heartless Truth about Honesty

I’m all “in” for Honesty. I’m a really big fan of it. Being honest is important if there’s a life and death situation, or if someone is in trouble, or if a good friend is acting stupid and needs to be put in his or her place! Sometimes it’s even good in a marriage (but not ALL the time – do NOT ask your husband if you look good in that dress or if he’s listening to you when he’s actually watching a game!!!)  However, I definitely have a problem when people use honesty simply to hurt or humiliate others, just for the simple pleasure of feeling superior or watching the other person get embarrassed…  People who simply use honesty to point out flaws or weaknesses in someone else: “your nose is huge” or “what an ugly haircut you got there!”… I love when they tell you that someone ELSE, perhaps an acquaintance, said something mean about you – like “she said you looked ugly in those pants!” What was the point of sharing that information with me? Honesty can be heartless, cruel… and it is really misused! As the saying goes (and I’m paraphrasing): “If you don’t have anything nice to say… just SHUT UP!” Do I sound bitter? Yeap! Because it just happened to me recently! If you think you’re really close to me, and have the right to tell me I've put on a few pounds and should get back on track, fine… do so… in private… I may or may not be hurt, and may or may not get back on track… that’s my business. But when you choose to be “honest” with me in public and in a demeaning manner, by telling me I have a “huge ASS” and “ooohh…. What happened to you???”… That’s offensive!! PEOPLE!! Really??? Was that necessary??? First of all, I don’t need to be lectured! Just like I don’t need to share information about my own workout and eating habits! You have a problem with my huge ASS? Don’t look at it! You shouldn't have been looking at it in the first place! Of course I could have told this person lots of things I had on my mind… but my best friend reminded me that I’m a nice person and I, too, should hush…. 

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