I used to be cool... where did I lose it...

One night I found myself engaged in a heated argument with my oldest daughter, then 18 years-old. She was planning to go out with her friends and she was going to be out until 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning. Considering that she was still too young to be out so late, I said to her: "You know, there's nothing good out there at 3 o'clock in the morning!" And in that typical teenage style, she yells back:"It's not my fault that you never went out clubbing when you were young!!!"

At that moment I realized: "OH MY GOD!!! My children don't know who I am!! My children don't know who I WAS! I used to be cool, I swear!! I used to be fun, I couldn't pass on a weekend without going out, I was always in the middle of the dance floor while everybody followed MY moves, I WAS COOL!!!! I remember!!! What happened to me?????"

At that moment reality hit me... Hard.... where did I lose my coolness??

Then most recently, at my nephew's 21st birthday party, the kids were doing keg-stands (look it up on the internet) and my husband decided he wanted to do it!! The kids went wild!! "NO WAY!! WHAT A COOL UNCLE YOU HAVE!!" The next day, everybody was talking about my "awesome" husband on the social network. One particular entry to my daughter caught my attention: "You have such a cool dad, you can definitely tell he was a party animal in his college years...!!!" Well... guess what??? My husband was NOT the party animal in college... I WAS!! He was the one taking 18 credits per semester and I was the one fighting with him to go out!! NOO!! What is happening!!! I was the cool one!!! Where did I lose it!???

So I realized that somewhere along the 25 years of marriage and raising our four gorgeous daughters (Gaby is now 22, Katerina is 20, and the twins Andrea and Alexandra are 18) I was forced to become more of a disciplinarian and less of a party animal. It's funny, because when I'm with my friends, I am "ME", the old me, we make jokes, talk loud, pig out (because we're starting a diet tomorrow), but in our everyday life, yes, I'm guilty... When the girls were born and while they were growing up, I became a strict (BUT LOVING) mom. It was all about raising them, I did go out and have parties at the house... but the kids didn't get to see the "old me", they were either out of the house or with a babysitter. And when I was with them at home, I simply became "mommy".

And that's what happened... after that argument with my oldest daughter and my nephew's birthday party, I decided that it was time to let the girls see a little more of the "old me", to share more stories, to be wild!! But guess what.... no matter how much I wanted to be as cool as I was in the 80's, I found out I didn't want it back. Been there, done that! To tell you the truth... I don't have the energy now nor the desire to be that person! At this point, by 10:00 p.m. I'm ready for bed while my kids are getting ready to go out! I now meet my friends for drinks at 6:00 p.m., and a couple of hours later we're done and ready to go home! Reservations for dinner at 9:30 p.m.? Why so late?? If I drink too much one night, I need at least 72 hours to recover! If I dance at a party now, the next day everything hurts! One night we dared to go to a club with friends, we left 1/2 hour later because we couldn't hear ourselves think!! (We just stared at each other... how borring...).

And in a moment, I found out something beautiful! I found out that for my girls I didn't have to be a party animal to be cool! Imagine that concept! In my daughters' eyes, as well as in their friends' eyes, I was already a cool mom, not because of who I was in my youth, but because of who I am today. How? The girls come to me to talk because they feel I give them good advice. Because I listen to them, because I care, because I am simply here for them. I am cool because I am always planning trips and taking them to musicals. I am cool because I push them to be whoever they want to be, to be the best they can be, to enjoy life, make the most out of it and be happy! Their friends call me when THEY need advice. They come for a visit even if my girls are not home! I think that's just priceless!! That's the kind of "cool" that is important now.

So guess what? I AM still cool! I never lost it after all! Of course, once in a while my friends and I tell the girls stories about our youth, but beware... those stories will always come back to bite you in the ass.